honestly, it does make me feel hurt, down, upset. for a while...a long while, i forgot i am an Asian. i forgot i am different. well...you are different too.
and maybe it has nothing to do with ethnicity. i just have to be better and better and better.
F@@@ it. Iowa.
alright. i need to get out of here. i am not really being extreme here, otherwise i would have taken a summer studio and get out of this place almost 6 months early. yes i want to get out of here, Iowa is absolutely not the place. i am still willing to learn patiently. Learning is an ability, and i own it.
i am about to travel to the west coast. not much scared, although i know bad things can happen. i might not think it will be a big deal now, but it might changes my life. so lets just hope that awful things wont happen. i have always been adventurous, and i want to learn to move forward with caution.
the other day i was reading a book called outside lies magic. Here's a few quotes "Exploration is a liberal art, because it is an art that liberates, that frees, that opens away from narrowness. And it is fun.""exploration happens best by accident, by letting way lead on to way, not by following a schedule down to track"
so i think it's a really good idea to go and explore..maybe some awareness can be built into mindfulness. so maybe the goal of the trip is to forget about who i am...and live like a local there. this is editable. haha.
I want to go to the west coast for grad school. more specifically San Francisco.
alright. i am still kinda mad right now. angry panda.
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