Travis Skyped me today. and not gonna lie, i almost bursted out crying when seeing his face. How i wish these people are here with me, so i wouldnt have made such foolish mistakes. how i wish i can get a hug from them, so that it wont be this hard to go through.
but. thank god, it's really not THAT hard. not as hard as it could be.
so ..no secret between friends. i always want my friends to know what i am up to. so yes, i told Travis and Sam what i am dealing with. I was gonna tell John too, but i dont know how to start...so endup just chatting with him. but that's good too.
i really appreciate having you all. and this semester is ending soon. and summer is gonna be good no matter what.
Love all.
and if you see this, wants to know what's going on, dont ask travis and sam. come ask, and i prefer tell you in person.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
it takes years to finally understand a person
It takes years to finally understand a person. and when i say this i say it positively. but i did tear up.
This is not the first time that i realize this. but the most recent time was realzing a professor that i had misunderstood for one year.
for some reason, i went back to read an email sent to me a year ago before final review. and suddenly realized she had made so many good points in the email, which is what i want to write in my Datum article. and it was that moment i know it was her that stored all that thoughts in my mind. but i have misunderstood it for the entire time. or cuz i was just so mad at the fact that i dont have a complete project at the final review. BUT I DO. it was me giving up on telling the story of my project, instead of me not havning a final project. in design school, we are dreamers, explorers, curious individuals. We are here to learn not to prove that we are architects. and the review time, or anytime is not a chance to prove my worth, or the worth of my project, but, again to learn, to ask questions, to conclude myself at a current status.
and now i know how valuable it had been.
and i was just so mad that i thought the whole email was just some excuses, some more lies. and now i get a chance to look at it as an outsider, maybe i do appreciate it.
happy making. always.
This is not the first time that i realize this. but the most recent time was realzing a professor that i had misunderstood for one year.
for some reason, i went back to read an email sent to me a year ago before final review. and suddenly realized she had made so many good points in the email, which is what i want to write in my Datum article. and it was that moment i know it was her that stored all that thoughts in my mind. but i have misunderstood it for the entire time. or cuz i was just so mad at the fact that i dont have a complete project at the final review. BUT I DO. it was me giving up on telling the story of my project, instead of me not havning a final project. in design school, we are dreamers, explorers, curious individuals. We are here to learn not to prove that we are architects. and the review time, or anytime is not a chance to prove my worth, or the worth of my project, but, again to learn, to ask questions, to conclude myself at a current status.
and now i know how valuable it had been.
and i was just so mad that i thought the whole email was just some excuses, some more lies. and now i get a chance to look at it as an outsider, maybe i do appreciate it.
happy making. always.
sorry i am shady today.
I havent been posting anything for so long, probably cuz theres plenty of things to keep me busy or happy. and today, when i get back here to post something, i am not feeling well.
i am not cranking/chilling in studio right now. i am in that little room that i havent been in for about 2 years. I remember the time i stayed up straight 2 nights cranking for a mid review, and i havent been back ever since. and now i am back. This room has been abusively used. Stuffed with many junks. I can no longer find the light switch anymore. just let it remain dark. i feel safer this way anyways.
and today I am really not feeling well. i indeed laid too much of myself out there, that people see all of me and want to take advantage of it. Even it's simply playing, i want to play with sincere, seriousness, and honesty. apparently not the whole world agrees with me.so i get hurt. or maybe that's just stupidness. Fine. it will all be ok at the end.
Sometimes, today. i feel that i had abusively used the love that some people offered me. To an extend that these love is taken away from me now. i cant say that i am mad. but i am sad.
oh well.
with all those good things happening in my life this semester, the only thing that i wish i could have done better was to walk closely with my heavenly father, follow his will, and listen not to my own desire. and i am still thankful that i learned my lessons in a way that is not too hurtful.
i am not cranking/chilling in studio right now. i am in that little room that i havent been in for about 2 years. I remember the time i stayed up straight 2 nights cranking for a mid review, and i havent been back ever since. and now i am back. This room has been abusively used. Stuffed with many junks. I can no longer find the light switch anymore. just let it remain dark. i feel safer this way anyways.
and today I am really not feeling well. i indeed laid too much of myself out there, that people see all of me and want to take advantage of it. Even it's simply playing, i want to play with sincere, seriousness, and honesty. apparently not the whole world agrees with me.so i get hurt. or maybe that's just stupidness. Fine. it will all be ok at the end.
Sometimes, today. i feel that i had abusively used the love that some people offered me. To an extend that these love is taken away from me now. i cant say that i am mad. but i am sad.
oh well.
with all those good things happening in my life this semester, the only thing that i wish i could have done better was to walk closely with my heavenly father, follow his will, and listen not to my own desire. and i am still thankful that i learned my lessons in a way that is not too hurtful.
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