I planned a wedding to run away from.

I planned a wedding to run away from.
and yes i did, except that it's not a wedding. it'a event project that i am doing.

But do you know how scared i was.
I am not a panda, i am a turtle. timid, and will go back to my shell when I am scared. I want to be different, to stand out, and that might be the only reason that i am doing this. I have a desire to..transform..myself..to get ready for the real world. but the transformation is painful. I am in serious pain.
The reason is so stupid to even talk about. too stupid to tell another. I did this for my own sake, not for anybody else, not for the progression of human beings.

Someone said, architects should contribute to the society. i just want to do things to fulfill my own desire. my dark secrets are driven force. not the society.

so loser says, which means I say, this is no big deal. As long as i know whts wrong, how to make it better, it will be fine eventually. Transformation is hard. ALL I NEED TO DO IS TO FIGURE IT OUT.


 i will do it again, when i am more ready.

Thanks for all the supports, and the people that got up for my  event.