what matters

i am no longer scared, nor worried. cuz i know at the end of the day, everything is gonna fall in its place.

asking what do you learn the most from this trip so far. I say is how to face the unknown. There's days that
i do not know where i am staying, who i am meeting, what i am gonna do. instead of being panic, i learned just
to go with it. Not saying that i am nolonger trying, but i am no longer in need to control over thngs and more willing to fall back and accept what is given.
i trust that god will provide. we had damaged our rental car by backing into a pipe in San Francisco, but found someone to fix for free. i had no clue
where to stay in Eugene for the night, and Josiah was willing to reschedule his camping trip for me. I had no clue how i am gonna survived living with a
big male cat at night, and turned out that the cat decided to not come into the house at all! i had running out of time get to the train station, turns
out that the car rental company receptionist asked their customer to gave us a ride there, we  were literally 1 min early.
it's amazing how everything works out. lots of time, i know without the guardian of God, it cant be true.

i find out what mmaters the most to me. What are the things i am willing to give up time, food, and set aside other
things for.i like good cuisin, meeting new people, shopping, and nature. but when it comes to art show, architecture, theater. all above
can be given up. The kinda joy that i dwells in when viewing arts is non-replacable

The way people look at me no longer matters. I have been lost myself by partying with people, or hanging out with certain people.
i thought i would be more "fun" this way, but i know i dont fit in as much as i want myself to be. most of time, i know
something is missing. and that is not about God, religion, belief etc. Myself was missing. i do not know what i care, what
i am passionate about, how i want to live, etc. by finally having a period of time of myself, and making decisions almost
entirely on myself, what i had been doing was absolutely not the way that i want it to be. i am living based on others judgement
on me, paying too much attention on what other people doing, instead of living my own life. i met this guy called daniel
from couchsurf. He's an archietcture student just graduating from UC-berkely. he never denied that he's a lay back architecture
student and he said he did well enough in other classes that he no longer has to care about the projects. although i am
almost entirely the opposite, but i gave respect to him. it's not easy for one to admit that he's just not into his major.
Besides, i see his passion more in traveling, and arts. His planning on couchsurfing and backpacking and hitchiking to Alaska
the week rgiht after school ends. With the same method, he's gonna go tru all the states: all the way to the east from San
Francisco, and all the way back.Then he's gonna do the same around Europe. How awesome it is. I dont know about you, but
i give high respect to people that knows what they are passionate about. plus he has an architecture job lined up anyways....
He said he wanted to have this trip cost "nothing" for him. which means instead of using his savings...he wanted to earn
money at the same time on the trip to achieve "net zero". he was one of those street artists when he was around 14 or so,
so he decided to do the same thing, although he's not yet sure what to sell.

and it's very true that you are who you are, the people that matter wont care, the people that care dont matter.