236 days till the day you all come back. Nice weather in Ames so far. no more snowing. my car died AGAIN. well, whatsoever, i am already missing you all.
i woke up this morning at around 6...supposedly driving my car to pick up Alex and then to the airport then hangout around in Des moines, and then come back.
BUT some damn Dodge car breaks down again. WHAT DID I LEFT ON AGAIN THIS TIME!? well ...then i was feeling extremely bad and called alex. and then we decide that we will take her car,....and i will drive her car back. since i dont feel comfortable driving other people's car around in somewhere i am not familiar with ....so....no fun in Des moines......Sorry James,...i really hate when that happens...but...sorry james....He actually went to bed like around 9pm..to get up early...to hangout with me.....oops...sorry james!
well..anyways...i successfully made my trip back...and then went to Ann's apartment for her belongings. no one is in the apartment...but the aparment is unlocked. I am lost. should i take her stuff or no, should i , or no? but anyways i took her stuff: i think it's lamp with pretty bulbs, cooking stuff, and wood stools. besdies wood stools..i have no idea what other stuff looks like. then i finally found out her lamp with pretty bulbs in the closet. I knew it's hers cuz it has a name tag stick on it, says: Recreational Services ANN. Just at that moment, i feel that she has never left. ( dont take it wrong...Ann is just having fun in Europe and later in Rome, she's alive) The name tag reminds me of the sweet/fun/crazy things that she does. awww ann.
Talked to Kumudan the day before. It's more like an interview...than actually a talk. he's asking me some random questions...like " how are you doing" after i answered ..there's 10+ min silence. and then he will ask.."anything else?"then i just started talking...talking talking about everything. and i think this is the way of casual chatting. ~~ and then i am out of topics.....so i asked how is he doing....he's like..."what do you mean?""what do you want to know"" you need to tell me waht you want to know..so i can answer you." NOOOOOOOOO ....that's not right......for example, if he burned down his house that day,and didnt tell me anything about it...why will i ask him any question like...why do you burn down your house kumudan? NOOOOOO so ...anyways.....so i tried to tell him just tell me whatever happens in your life.....like....it's cloudy in ames, quiet, but clean. I am heading to kansas city tmr...blahblah. so he started talking about his life. and he being faithful to god and let god leads him at every turning point of life. Be faithful to what god has given him.
then, problem solved.
i guess i wasnt faithful enough in what god has given me. wasnt faithful enough to him, but challenging him. lots of ttimes, i didnt do the best as i could in things that god gave to me.OR...I TRIED TOO HARD THAT ACTUALLY RUINED WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT. and god, please forgive forgive forgive me on that. and speaking of my earlier attemption. it came back again. it's almost a substitute of someone already. hehe. and it was me again not being faithful to God. i kept challeging god, thought that there might be a chance, maybe he will change for the better, or maybe we can be good friends and just hang out. i thought God never gave me any sign for not going out with this guy. but, truely he did, and it was written thousands of years ago in bible. If i stick closely to bible, i would not even be involved.
STUPID ME.
And again , God is testing my faith. and sorry to say so , i failed.
tomorrow i am heading to Kansas City to hear some teaching about God. I know i am thirsty. I am thirsty for you.
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